What have been your experiences, frustrations and reasons for "under functioning" in the body of Christ?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Fiona Linford on August 20, 2010 at 12:05pm

Hello Doreen,

I have to be candid and state that I am not too sure what you are actually asking, but I would like to jot down here my experience if I may. Please pardon any grammar or spelling errors :) I came back to the 'institutional church' 15 years ago, after living a not to Christian life. I became a member of a very small church just starting out in my children's elementary school cafeteria. It probably was the closest thing to community I have ever felt because we were very small. It was my first experience tithing which, as a single mother, was a worry sometimes. I was a 'good' Christian though and tithed joyfully. I also felt the need to jump into a ministry right away, I helped in numerous areas. I did love my brothers and sisters at that church very much but I saw with my own eyes what money did and how a particular family was elevated due to a considerable donation they made to our financially struggling church. Our pastor, who I love to this day, was put in an awkward position I am sure.
I left there after burning out, feeling I could not actually attend church while not do anything in ministry, which I desperately needed to do.I cannot tell you how long I have wanted and needed to just sit at His feet! I attended many churches after that, some small some big, always tithing and always looking for ways to get involved and help, but I always felt alone and I never saw a transformation in either myself or others. I felt like I must have been missing something. Why was I feeling unloved, and empty most of the time. Why did I feel the need to get involved in ministry to feel fulfilled but never was? Why did I always dress up to the nines every Sunday, to impress who? Why did we all just sit in church like bumps on a log. How many people were actually singing to our Lord Jesus and not just looking all around, me included! Then there was the battle to get out of the parking lot, and we had just attended a service together!! Where was our victory?!?! I didn't want to be religious and critical anymore, so I left the institutional church. I just wanted Jesus, His love, His peace, His patience and His victory, but most of all His yoke.
Then, this year, someone told me about 'Pagan Christianity' (thank you to George Barna and Frank Viola), and OH MY GOSH I was not crazy...... or doomed! I attended Threshold 2010 in Orlando because I wanted to know more about organic church. I suddenly felt encouraged and hopeful! I have since read 'The Butterfly In You' (thank you Milt Rodriguez) What a revelation, I felt more of Christ in me than ever before in my life! I am just starting 'Reimagining Church' by Frank Viola.
Now I have tried to attend a couple of house churches, but I felt like I was still attending church just in a home setting. Now I am not knocking this as it obviously works for some people, I just don't feel it's for me. I want the community that I feel was in the New Testament and I saw and heard at Threshold 2010. Voices singing to our Lord with no music. People who know each other and are actively involved in each others lives and just love on each other because they are so full of Jesus. I am not sure that I will be able to find that near, and it may be that my daughter and I have to move one day, however this all I have left with our Lord Jesus, but I am very hopeful. In the meantime I am going to read lots of books! :)
Not sure if this is the answer you were looking for Doreen, God speed in your endeavours.

Fiona

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Doreen Hutcheson on August 22, 2010 at 8:36am

Fiona, thanks for replying with such honesty about your experience. My family's own transition from the lifeless bricks and mortar mind sets, has been one of painful patience, while God has continued to clean off stones and give us new ones that we might meet with others in real living fellowship. God is so into each of us individually and as a family, that He wants to do a deep work and it has taken time for us to travel through to the place in Him where we feel we are connected again into what He is truly restoring. My heart is that people who have lived feeling isolated from the life of living connection in Christ and others, who have felt alone, without transformation, unloved and empty, would have a voice of that journey through this transition out to the love life Jesus really wants in his family. The wall was restored in Nehemiah with the comfort of each one as a testimony connecting again with each other in what God was doing. Each person named that rebuilt represents a testimony of Christs salvation when you look up the meaning of their names in Hebrew. You are a testimony that has overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of your testimony. You sharing yourself and what Christ has done and makes known to you with others builds connection. It isn't the program, the tool, the work, but the testimony of Christ in you and others that is a living stones temple of His presence.
We also had an experience of house church gathering that kept lifting up some of the very IC mindsets we were trying to leave, and although very disappointing, that experience hopefully has made us more determined seekers. Faith often is stepping out to a place you don't yet see.
Thanks for responding and I hope you continue to share your journey and meet some lively stones soon.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Fiona Linford on August 22, 2010 at 9:39am

Absolutely will I share Doreen, how can we shut up when we have such an overflow from our Lord Jesus and with what He is doing in our lives :) Thank you for your encouragement! You are correct, I already feel connected and I have not met anyone on this site. It is our common bond with our Lord, how precious He is to give us exactly what we need at the right moment.
I hope you share also, and I love the picture of us being lively stones, and with Christ as our cornerstone the victory is ours.

He is within,

Fiona

• ▶ Reply